Feb
02
2010
02
2010
Thank God for camera phones. I spotted this bad boy at the local Burger King tonight and had to snap a shot of it on the way out. I’m not the only one, while I was eating my slop they call a hamburger, a couple of teenaged girls stopped and took a picture of the sign. Just for fun I should really call them and offer to play some Tori Amos cover songs, or some similar bullshit, and record their reaction to that.
Dec
29
2009
29
2009
Two Mexican guys are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden …
‘Hey Jose, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon.’
‘Si, Luis eet smells like bacon to meee.’
So, with renewed strength, they struggle up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There’s raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there’s fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon … every imaginable kind of cured pig meat.
‘Jose, Jose, we is saved. ‘Eees a bacon tree.’
‘Luis, are you sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the Desert don’t forget.’
‘Jose when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon…. ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree’.
And with that … Luis races towards the tree. He gets to within 5 meters, Jose following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a machine gun opens up, and Luis is cut down in his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded but, a true friend that he is, he manages to warn Jose with his dying breath.
‘Jose… go back man, you was right ees not a bacon tree.’
‘Luis, Luis mi amigo…. what ees it?
‘Jose … ees not a bacon tree…
Ees.
Ees.
Ees.
Eees a ham bush!!
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