It was obvious to Mom and Dad that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie without their 9-year-old son hanging around was to send him out on the balcony. So they ordered him to report on all the neighborhood activities.

The boy began his commentary, “There’s a car being towed from the parking lot,” he said. “An ambulance just drove by. It looks like the Andersons have company,” he called out. “Max is riding a new bike and the Coopers are having sex.”

Mom and Dad shot up in bed. “How do you know that?” the startled father asked.

“Their kid is standing out on the balcony too.”